"Why Is It Always About You? The Seven
Deadly Sins of Narcissism"
by
Sandy Hotchkiss (Author), James F. Masterson (Foreword)
Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation and Bad Boundaries are the seven deadly sins of narcissism. "Their needs are more important than anyone else's, and they expect to be accommodated in all things. They can't comprehend why they might not always come first." Sandy Hotchkiss is clear and informative. In Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism about saving yourself from the narcissists in your life, Sandy Hotchkiss explains what the signs of someone who is not just a bit selfish or a bit self-centered, but someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. She is clear and focused on who these individuals are, how to recognize them and even an idea of how they arrived at this point in their lives. They have taken their normal tendencies and elevated them to a higher, more significant and much more unhealthy level, for them and those around them. With a little personal insight and understanding most people have the capacity to protect themselves from the freefalling damage that is dished out by those with narcissistic personality disorder. While a narcissist will most likely NEVER admit that there is a problem with their behavior, there are ways to effectively manage them and to protect yourself (and your children) from their damaging controlling behavior. Dealing with someone who must be the center and focus of everything, who is never wrong, who feels eminently entitled to everything and anything and who completely lacks any real emotional connection is difficult but not impossible..........and much less difficult than being under their control for the rest of their lives.~Jeanne
| Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all! Read it right now...click here |
Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism
Book Description
In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more
than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss
shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable
of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships. Exploring
how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their
perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes the
"Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism" and their origins. You will learn to recognize
these hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism -- Shamelessness, Magical Thinking,
Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, Bad Boundaries -- and to understand
the roles that parenting and culture play in their creation.
Whether the narcissist in question is a coworker, spouse, parent, or child,
Why Is It Always About You? provides abundant practical advice for anyone
struggling to break narcissism's insidious spread to the next generation,
and for anyone who encounters narcissists in everyday life.
About the Author
Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW teaches in the Master's Program at the University of Southern California School of Social Work and has a private practice in psychotherapy. A fellow of the California Society for Clinical Social Work, she lives in the Los Angeles area. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
READER'S COMMENTS ON Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism
The only thing worse then being married to a narcissist, is divorcing one. (Hell hath no fury like a narcissists' injury). And since my ex is the father of our son, I still must interact with him and his 7 deadly sins of narcissism. This book not only helps to identify the many shades of narcissistic behavior in a variety of settings; there are practical suggestions on how to deal with narcissists-- without getting pulled into their web of blame & shame. While this book did not deal specifically with narcisstic spouses that have been voted off the island, there are plenty of concrete tools and case examples. The chapters on how to prevent raising/creating a narcissistic child were also very enlightening. This book's a keeper.~Joannie
| Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all! Read it right now...click here |
WOW!! Excellent book! I recommend this to anyone who has controlling, narcissist, manipulative parents or spouse. I personally have given this book to several women whose parents doted on the sons and ignored the girls...and girls dealing with the narcissistic spouse and/or boyfriend...It has changed my life and made me realize that I must stand up for myself and say "no more" to those who insist that I worship them and be their scapegoat!! Why Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism will make you say "Ohhh, now I understand..". It is what "Toxic Parents" was years ago!! A MUST READ!!~Yvette
This author is a genius.
Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism
was amazingly on
target. Narcissism is a complex and convoluted personality disorder and the
author has it precisely pegged. All the obvious characteristics down to the
minutest subtle intricacies of this pathetic, self-centered persona are presented
in an easily comprehensible manner. Almost every page I found myself saying
out loud.... Oh my God, she's got it right, that's it!!! Such clarification
is emotionally liberating.
The narcissist is adept at draining your life force and without an iota of
compassion. Their energy field must be constantly nourished by tapping into
anothers. It IS... ALL about them. This book puts things in perspective,
clarifies and shines a lazer light on this personality disorder and offers
suggestions to help recognize, assess, evaluate and protect oneself from
these emotional vampires. ~Josi
RE:
Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism
Well, I had been dealing with a person with strong narcissistic tendencies which is what prompted me to purchase this book. What I really like that Sandy Hotchkiss does here is she gives us steps for dealing with narcissists: Know Yourself, Embrace Reality, Set Boundaries, Cultivate Reciprocal Relationships. She essentially debunks the myth that all narcissists appear to be arrogant and self-serving; while this is sometimes true, they often come as wolves in sheep's clothing and seem as nice as can be. What Hotchkiss points out is that when idealization is present in a relationship, as well as poor boundaries, you are likely dealing with a narcissist. Good things to know when you may think the narcissist will appear in the guise of "Me, me, me." They are completely self-absorbed, but they may not appear that way, which is why they can be very confusing. Hotchkiss also gives us a lot of excellent info on how narcissists become they way they are, narcissists and addiction, and how our society encourages and even promotes narcissism. An extremely interesting read, with easy-to-understand examples and down-to-earth language.~S.F.
Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism
Ever deal with people who know no boundaries or only seem to think about themselves... and what they think is that they're great? or unique? Is there someone for whom you're putting out a lot of effort, anticipating their thoughts and feelings, but getting little in return? These people may have narcissitic tendancies or even a full blown personality disorder. This book will help you understand how narcissists think. It's pretty scarey, but once you understand you'll be able to disengage from their trap (at least mentally).~C.S.K.
Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism
covers everything
you need to know about narcissism. It covers how and why it happens and how
narcissists act. It also makes you aware of how you were trapped in the
narcissist's web and how to avoid it in the future. It made me feel as though
my actions were justified and I was right about my feelings. I have read
four books on narcissism and this by far is the best. I enjoyed it so much,
I bought my sister a copy and sent it to her in Seattle. I bought yet another
copy and wrote a letter to my ex-boyfriend's mother and informed her that
her son is a narcissist and asked her to read the book so she could understand
him as I have done seven months after our break up. MY WHOLE LIFE MAKES PERFECT
SENSE. THANK YOU FOR SUCH A GREAT BOOK!! I have my life back.
~Dianna
I had reached rock-bottom when a friend
recommended
Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism
to me: I found myself
on my knees, begging my husband not to be angry at me. This book had everything
I needed to pull myself out of the gutter: clarity, insight, intelligence,
and page after page of perfect descriptions of what I had been living with
for many years. Then came strong, simple advice on how to live a sane life.
The descriptions helped me let go of my fantasy that he could change; the
advice helped me turn my own path into one of optimism and strength. Thank
you, SH.~A Reader
| Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all! Read it right now...click here |
RE:
Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism
In classical mythology, Narcissus
was a young man who fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of
water and wasted away from unsatisfied desire. In modern terms a narcissist
is a vain, self-absorbed, arrogant individual with a grand sense of entitlement.
Narcissistic tendencies include the need to be perfect or in control at all
times.
Narcissistic attitudes and behaviors are epidemic in our society. The American
Psychiatric Association estimates that one out of every one hundred persons
meets the criteria of severe narcissism.
According to the author, "our culture is full of narcissistic influences
that numb us to the reality of the problems we face." In fact, unreality
is the hallmark of narcissism. Their distortions of reality can cause others
to question themselves and doubt their own perceptions.
Narcissists will go to great lengths to promote fantasies that sustain their
grandiosity and omnipotence. Many prominent elected officials, sports idols,
and entertainment figures are narcissists. They also head large corporations
and lead flocks of the faithful. Many of us encounter unhealthy narcissism
in some form every day.
Narcissists see themselves as "special people." They know better than you
do. They are also very shame-sensitive. They avoid shame at all costs. They
are unlikely to self-correct their intrusive or inconsiderate behavior just
because you call attention to it. When failures occur, they portray themselves
as victims and blame others for their misfortune. Gossip, backbiting, and
bootlicking are prevalent in work environments dominated by a narcissist.
The narcissist sees power as his due. This is why many achieve management
positions. In such positions they practice stretching employees until they
break and then get rid of them. This is called "rubber band management."
Narcissists are also very aware of shifts in the balance of power.
In this book author Sandy Hotchkiss presents an excellent general description
of narcissism and covers how to deal with the narcissists in our lives. Knowing
the narcissist's weaknesses and tendencies will help you effectively deal
with narcissism.
Chapter 16 is titled "Narcissists at Work: The Abuse of Power." This chapter
is well worth the price of the book. It covers the narcissistic problems
of poor interpersonal boundaries, scapegoating, shameless exploitation, envy
in the workplace, and ways narcissists seduce us. The chapter ends by providing
four guidelines for survival with a narcissist in power.
If you find yourself working in a toxic environment headed by a narcissistic
manager, you will want to read Why is it Always About YOU?~Greg
While the book
(Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism) does give
a clear understanding of where narcissism comes from, other books have done
that as well. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU?, however, provided me with validation
that what I have been experiencing is, indeed, a narcissistic relationship.
This was important because narcissists are excellent at taking their faults
(or what they perceive as faults) and resulting shame and passing it onto
their significant other. It is very easy to believe that they are right,
thereby beginning the slow destruction of one of our most important assets,
self-esteem. This book will teach you that it is not always about you and,
in fact, in a narcissistic relationship, it is the illusions of grandiosity
and perfection that the narcissist has, that will very likely lead to the
demise of the relationship. While they may believe it is all your fault because
they are perfect, this book will show you that it is not. I highly recommend
this book to anyone who thinks they are in or have been in a narcissistic
relationship of any sort. It will validate your feelings, I guarantee it.~A
Reader
Understanding a narcissist is not an easy task, and living with one or working
with one can be most difficult. Sandy Hotchkiss has written a most helpful
book on dealing with narcissists who will only use and abuse you if you fail
to give them their narcissistic supply of praise or adulation. This book
has helped me in finding the reasons for my doubts and wonderings about family
members who are difficult to deal with. I had considered consulting a therapist
to ease the pain of conflict. Perhaps I shall, but I will have a better handle
on the egocentric behavior of the narcissists in my life.
Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism
is well worth its price, and may
in fact be more helpful than a therapist. ~Virginia"
Read more or
order your copy of
"Why
Is It Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of
Narcissism"
today!
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